My Labor and Delivery Story

So I realized I haven't even done a blog about becoming a mom. How do I even put it into words? I'm not sure. We waited 6 long years for this miracle and he is the biggest blessing we have ever received. 

Lincoln Anthony was born on March 20, 2013 at 8:59am after an emergency c-section, weighing 8lb13oz and 20.5" long. I guess I could start with my labor and delivery.

A c-section was my biggest fear when it came to labor. I dreamed of that moment of birthing my son and having him placed on my chest. Around 8:00pm on March 19 I started to have contractions. Louie frantically got the house ready, cleaning and doing last minute preparations. At the time I wasn't even sure I was REALLY in labor. Contractions started at about 30 seconds long and were every 4-5 minutes. Since the actual contraction was so short I thought they were just braxton hicks. They were hardly painful either. After a few hours of it continuing, I decided to take a shower and relax and see if that helped. So I took a shower, and laid on the couch while watching Bones on netflix. Contractions were getting closer and longer. I figured I would call the hospital to see if I should come in, they said to come in just to see so we got in the car and went. We probably got there around 2am. I was checked to see how dilated I was (which was more painful than ANY contraction I had let me tell you) and was about 5 cm. I couldn't believe it. I was having a BABY. After that my contractions started hyper stimming. So basically I was having one long contraction with no breaks. They gave me a shot to try to slow the contractions down which didn't help. Eventually I was moved into a room, and my parents showed up. I got the epidural and felt SO much better. But the combination (I think) of the drugs put Lincoln into distress. His heart rate started to drop, more than they would like to see. My Dr got to the hospital and checked me and I was about 7-8cm and she broke my water to try to help because we were really trying to avoid a c-section. Also should add, the combination of all these drugs REALLY put me into another world. I was SO out of it. Time meant nothing to me. 3 hours felt like 10 minutes to me. She broke my water and it didn't help and Lincoln's heart rate kept dropping. They tried to put fluid back inside, but that also didn't help. Finally, his heart rate got so bad, out of nowhere every nurse on the floor was in my room, prepping me for a c-section. I knew thats what needed to be done but I was terrified. I just remember looking and Louie with tears streaming down my face. I was wheeled off into the room, and I was SO out of it. As they were prepping me I remember almost falling asleep. I started to get really nauseous so they gave me the ridiculous lima bean to throw up in, but thankfully I never needed it. Louie finally got into the room, and it was time for them to start the c-section. I remember telling Louie "talk to me, just talk to me" and he was so scared he said "I...I dont know what to talk about". I started asking him about work, and lord knows what else, and they told me I was going to feel some pressure. They weren't kidding! It felt as if they set a car on top of my chest. It felt as if my ribs would break at any moment.  Then Lincoln was born. I heard him cry and just looked at Louie and said "oh my god, we have a baby, thats our baby"

I remember my Dr telling me that Lincoln did NOT want to come out, she said he was trying to squirm away from her. His cord was also wrapped around his neck AND he was holding it like suspenders. My kid, I swear. lol. 

I was wheeled back into the room, but all that is fuzzy. I wasn't breathing well. I was hardly breathing at ALL. They kept shaking me telling me to breathe. I just felt like I was going to fall asleep but I wanted to see him so badly. I knew he was in the room, I could hear him but I couldn't see him. I believe at this point the nurse was giving him a bath. She finally brought him to me and he started to nurse right away. I remember thinking "oh this doesn't hurt like I thought it would". This was all really fuzzy and I can't remember how long I was in there until I went to the post partum room. They gave me this little contraption that I had to breathe in and out of to get my lungs working better. 

Luckily we had a private room. But getting rest in a hospital is impossible. The walls are thin, nurses come in constantly, or they would forget to shut the door and the halls were loud. My nurse made me get up out of the bed that night I believe. SO painful! I thought my stomach would just rip right open. They told me moving and walking would make me feel better and heal faster. They were right, but it was still horrible. I was SO ready to get home though so I walked as much as I could. I told them thursday night I was ready to leave the next morning. They seemed surprised I wanted to leave so early, but I hated it there and I needed to get home. Friday morning came and we were so excited. The pediatrician came in and listened to his heart, and told me that she heard a heart murmur. My heart sank. I had heard of heart murmurs before, but was not knowledgeable about them at all. She told me they would need to do an echo cardiogram and they wheeled him away from me. I broke down. I was so worried for him. I got dressed and met him in there while it was being preformed. Apparently during it though his heart rate kept dropping when he would fall asleep, so we had to sit there with him a little longer as they monitored that. They told me that we would get the results that following Monday at his first dr appointment. 

I couldn't imagine waiting that long and I hoped I could try to put it out of my mind until then. 

We went back into our room after that, and finished packing and put Lincoln in his first outfit ever (which he wasn't very happy about lol), and we were on our way home! Finally! 

RE Appointment & Experiencing Birth..in person!

So the 18th of January was my Reproductive Endocrinologist appointment. Since its been a crazy couple of days, I will try to recount the appointment as best as possible.

First thing that morning I RUSHED (and yes, sped a little bit,shh!) to the office to drop off the specimen for the semen analysis. Luckily I got there within 25 minutes, and they told me within an hour was perfect, so I felt good about that. I was so anxious but as soon as I dropped it off, I instantly felt more at ease knowing that part was over with.

After the appointment I went straight to one of my best friends house, Lauren, who had a prenatal appointment later that morning. She was 38 weeks pregnant with her little boy. I have been going to pretty much every appointment with her and we were in the home stretch which was pretty exciting. After her appointment we had lunch and just killed some time till my appointment, which I was grateful for because I knew I would be super anxious otherwise!

Time came for my appointment, and the first doctor I saw was the medical director of the facility. We went over my history, and after that she explained to me the semen analysis results...they were fantastic!! I was so relieved. One piece of the puzzle was solved. We discussed some treatment plans, and what might happen if they didn't work. From there, I spoke to another doctor. She was much more laid back and very funny. She explained to me that she wouldn't be surprised if I had Polycystic  Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). The first doctor didn't mention that, so I'm hoping that isn't the case. Although, its been my suspicion for years, its just no doctor would ever take me seriously. I understand it won't be the end of the world if I DO have PCOS, but it will make conceiving THAT much more difficult.

Basically in summary they would like me to start taking Clomid. She said she would like to try that for 3-4 cycles to see if it works. No more than that because over time Clomid tends to thin out your uterine wall which she doesn't want to happen. I asked if I needed to have a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) and she said not right now. If Louie happened to have had low sperm count or something was bad on his side, then she would recommend it, but since that isn't the case, and I was able to conceive in June naturally even though it ended in a loss she doesn't think I need it. BUT, if the fertility medications do not help and we have to move onto IUI or IVF then yes, a HSG will be done prior to those. I will be coming in on cycle day 3 or 4 to have some ultrasounds done in order to check out how everything looks. Even if I do happen to have PCOS, I will still be taking Clomid but they will also prescribe Metformin as well. Which I have been on in the past.

After speaking with her regarding treatment plans, I went to see a nurse who did blood work on me, which was to see my ovarian reserve. I should be getting those results in a few days.

Only problem that I discovered once I got home that night was next month, when all this is supposed to happen, I will be on a mini trip with my mom to Arizona...right when I'm in my fertile window. SO all of this might have to be postponed until March. Which is frustrating, but not the end of the world.

I felt really good about the appointment though. I was relieved that it began with good news. I am scared though. I just have this feeling that Clomid wont work. I have this feeling inside that its just not going to happen for us. Financially IVF is so out of reach right now, especially since our insurance basically covers NOTHING. But I'm trying not to get to ahead of myself. I will be praying and hoping that clomid works. I pray that will be the thing we will have needed all along. But it almost sounds too good to be true. That Clomid is too easy. Again, I'm trying NOT to have these thoughts, but when you have been trying for so many years, its hard not to feel that way.

The next evening, I got a phone call Lauren was getting really bad contractions, but they were so irregular we didn't think it could possibly be active labor yet. Turns out, they were! By the time she got to the hospital she was 6 cm! I rushed out of the house (around midnight, no sleep lol!) and drove the 45 minute drive, the whole time afraid I was going to miss the whole thing. Luckily, I didn't, and she hadn't progressed much since the phone call. She was in so much pain, and shortly after I arrived she got the epidural. I was able to watch it being done...and I totally cried. It looked so horrible, but she was so strong, and said it wasn't that bad. Scared me to death though. Not to long later they broke her water for her, and afterwards thanks to the epidural she was able to get some sleep. Unfortunately the rocking chair I was in, was not built for sleeping, so I couldn't get any sleep! They checked her a few hours later and she was 10 cm! She still felt nothing! The doctor came in, and within a few pushes baby Izzy made his appearance. I was so grateful and blessed to be with her and her boyfriend, during such a life changing moment for them. I was glad I was able to witness birth in person, instead of through a 30 minute TV show on TLC. lol! But at the same time...I won't lie, it scared me to death. It scared me so much, for when its me. I don't know how to explain it. Not that its changed my desire to become a mother by ANY means, but boy, it was definitely scary. I'm sure that by the time its me, the excitement to meet my child will overcome the fear of the changes my body is making and the pain associated with those changes.

Overall though, I was so happy to experience it with them, especially after anticipating his arrival for so long! :)

First family photo with baby Izzy